I often look at t.v. shows like The Biggest Loser and think “what a dream”! Nothing to do all day but exercise and eat good food. What are they complaining about? I’d love that! A friend of mine went to a surf retreat in Sri Lanka a couple of years ago. Nothing to do all day but a few surf lessons and some yoga. All meals cooked for you. HEAVEN! So I did my research on the flights and the cost of the surf retreat. Things were getting expensive. Then I had an epiphany! I want to go somewhere (without the kids) where I can eat natural organic food, surf, take yoga classes, read a book and lie on the beach. Duh! Byron Bay is only 2 hours down the road from me and is famous for every single one of those things. I don’t have to catch a plane. I won’t get jet-lagged. I won’t have to pay for flights. I created my own do-it-yourself (DIY) health retreat. So in late October, with our surf boards strapped to the roof of the car, we set off for Byron Bay. With no kids. Did I mention no kids? Even the car journey was whinge-free excitement! We booked 7 nights at Julian’s apartments. It was walking distance from Clarke’s Beach, The Pass, Wategos and Tallow Beach. It had a kitchenette (I just can’t holiday without a kitchen). Best yet, we had our own little private courtyard. The perfect place to eat breakfast or read a book. Or both! Let the health retreat begin!! What are we going to do? Whatever the hell we want! When? Whenever the hell we want! Here is how the week panned out. Sunday -Walked along Clarke’s Beach -Bangalow Markets – I listened to a bald French woman talk about the benefits of Magnesium Spray for as long as she wanted. What did I care? I had nowhere to be. I browsed stalls. I read labels. I sat in the shade and watched the buskers. Anyone who has kids would know what a LUXURY this is. -Lighthouse walk via Wategos beach. -Browsed the shops on the main street of Byron Bay. -Dinner – The Sticky Wicket. A win for BOTH my husband and I. I love food, he loves sport......and beer. The menu was fresh salads/Mexican cuisine and the bar had a dozen screens of any kind of sport you could possibly want to watch. We sat here for a couple of hours. A very enjoyable dinner! Monday -F45 Varsity – The team at F45 Byron Bay were very welcoming. Thank God! I can’t go a week without my F45! -Surfing lesson – Byron Bay Surf School – I figured I would be able to stand up and hang ten like Kelly Slater given all the burpees I’ve done in my life. I was wrong. -Lunch at Top Shop - burger. -Snoozed. -Walk along the beach. -Dinner at Byron Fresh Cafe - Not my favourite meal in Byron. Expensive, too much meat and too little veggies. We were sandwiched between some backpackers on one side and a couple who were just about having sex in their bench seat on the other. Not the best restaurant ambiance. Tuesday -F45 Romans -Sea Kayak Tour (Go Sea Kayak) – If you are going to do one touristy thing in Byron Bay, this is it! A 3 hour kayaking adventure (well 2 hours by the time you've been safety briefed and suited up). We were lucky to catch the tail end of whale season. We managed to kayak into the path of a mumma humpback whale and her two calves. I have been whale watching on a boat before but you just can't grasp the sheer size of these animals until you are sitting near one in a plastic kayak. Just being in their presence in the quiet still water as they slapped their fins on the surface and swam past was one of the most ethereal experiences I have ever had. -Lunch - Sandwich at our apartment -Snooze -Skateboard around the town, grabbed (another) burger at BayGer and ate it on the beach at sunset while the seagulls threatened to steal our chips. Perfection! **Side note: I have a HUGE aversion to anything with even a whiff of wanker. Fast cars don't impress me and restaurants with white table cloths make me chunder. Once my (then) boyfriend tried to take me into a quiet restaurant with white table cloths to propose to me. I peered at the loud, casual restaurant down the hill and stated that I wanted to eat there. I refused to go into the fancy schmancy restaurant. *God I am difficult.* I won the battle. We ate at the loud restaurant. He chickened out of proposing. As you may have been able to tell, I am a burger and kombucha on the beach kinda gal. Wednesday F45 Docklands Read a book on the beach and had a picnic lunch Skateboard to Creature Yoga – the most packed yoga class I have ever been to. We were almost downward dogging on top of each other. But as my husband remarked…… “Angie, it is yoga in Byron”. Touché. Dinner – (Another) burger at Beloporto Burger Bar on the way home from yoga Thursday -F45 Panthers -Long walk down Tallow Beach – what a pristine untouched stretch of beach. No houses, no apartments, no people! I could’ve walked for hours! -Felafel pocket at Orgasmic Food. It just about was. Highly recommended! -Afternoon tea with friends who live in Byron. Up until this point I had already Google searched for my future shack near Tallow Beach and was dreaming of the simple life in Byron. After talking to these locals I realized that their lives involved working long hours, school sport, and housework just like mine. Same shit, different (nicer) location. I put my $3million back into my pocket. Holiday destinations are special because you are on holiday. -A very ordinary 90 minute massage. Actually the worst massage I have ever had. I wont name and shame them but oh my God it was terrible. My husband spent an hour in a float tank (aka an expensive sleep). -Dinner at Chihuahua Taqueria – tasty filling served on shitty corn tortillas. Bloody gluten intolerant people ruin life for everyone else. Friday -F45 T10 -Coffee at The Farm, Byron Bay - Don't even come here if you have a genetic predisposition to spending money in health food stores like I do. Their produce store is so AMAZING! They sell only local produce. Things that couldn't get any more "Byron Bay" if they tried like organic kombucha soaked cashews! WTF is that?!?! Naturally, I bought some. -Surfing Tallow Beach – what FUN! I actually stood up! It wasn’t without injury though. My husbands surfboard hit me in the arm and I howled like I was shot in the battlefield. I can be a tad dramatic. -Lunch at Sticky Wicket – because….. sport. -Snooze -Skateboard to Belongil Beach to Treehouse on Belongil. My favourite restaurant of the week. Great pizza and a great atmosphere. By this stage I really was starting to miss the kids (who knew?!). I realized when I caught myself staring at other people’s kids in the restaurant that it was time to go home to see my little people. Saturday -F45 Hollywood -Home I have never returned from a holiday feeling so healthy and refreshed. Usually we eat and drink ourselves into a stupor and come home feeling tired and ill. Bless my mum for OFFERING to take my kids for a whole week so that we could make this trip possible and to my in-laws who took the kids off her hands so she herself could get some respite from the madness. I realize (after talking to all the totes jelly parents at school) that I am incredibly lucky to be able to go away for a week and not feel guilty. The kids LOVED their “holiday” as much as we enjoyed ours. We were refreshed and appreciative of each others company when we were all back together...... for the first few hours. We've been back for 4 days. The sun-filled skies of Byron are now a distant memory. We returned to work. I've hauled the kids to swimming, school, and soccer. Laundry. Cooking. I need a holiday. Where to next?
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